The Stars Aren't Alright | Call of Cthulhu Actual Play

We give Alex the reins, and he leads us to glory (chaos) and (mis)adventure!As would-be transfers to the prestigious Knockleberry College of Swordsmanship, Spellerey and Sneakerey, our band of rampaging hormone homunculi must navigate the inscrutable and arcane world of a college admissions interview for the pre-eminent adventuring academy in the land. Will Sol's perfectionism be her undoing? Will Hael purge the groups demons? Will Mot get a spot on the basis of being tall and good looking? What the **** is Brendan doing here? Only time and our adventurers will tell - maybe all they need is a little perspective.DOWN TO BUSINESS: 6:28. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This time we hand Leah the reins, as she leads Brian, Tom, Alex, and our new friend James in a dark and scary cave, for what is probably the third-worst bachelorette party you've ever heard of. Join Brigitte, Coleen, Tonya, and Jessica as they slowly unravel the mystery of missing appendages, and girlboss gatekeep gaslight themselves into and out of trouble. PT 2 coming soon! DOWN TO BUSINESS: 5:05. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our gals continue their unintentional spelunking through the cave of horrors in the bloodcurdling conclusion to our GayKeeper series. Brigitte demonstrates how well she can climb. Jessica does her best. Coleen embraces an open-door mentality. Tonya makes statements about democracy. Cathy is glowing. There's a gun in this one. DOWN TO BUSINESS: 2:05. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join Marco, Adella, Sidd, and Buddy the Bear - elite tour guides with Astral Adventures LLC - as Tom Keepers us all down to the surface of Radwin V, to lead some rich people on a tour that costs more than most people will make in their lifetimes. This tour was planned and executed using machinery and software sourced from the absolute lowest possible bidder - what could possibly go wrong? DOWN TO BUSINESS: 6:30. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After the planetary landing went sideways, we meet up with our Extreme Tour Guides Sidd, Marco, Adella, and Buddy the Bear on the surface of Radwin V. Things get spooky as the architect of their misfortune delves into their fears and insecurities, and we most certainly do NOT split the party (citation needed) in the uberduber super spoopums finale to our Most Astral of Adventures! DOWN TO BUSINESS: 3:12. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Catherine leads us into the godless pit of despair that is customer service in the Call Center of Cthulhu! Join Howie (Brian), Craig (Alex), Cathy (Leah), and Lonestar (Tom) as they try to keep their sanity in the multidimensional horror of the call center. We commiserate on the service industry for about 13 minutes - skip to that point if you wanna get to the goods! DOWN TO BUSINESS: 17:16. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cathy, Lonestar, Craig, and Howie delve deeper into the mysteries of the Call Center. A Caesar cypher makes all of us confront our fragile masculinity. Brian gets to recycle a lot of old sound bites from previous episodes. DOWN TO BUSINESS: 8:56. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The horse traps? Knitted. The customers? On hold. The Phil? Collins'd. The Lord's? Justice. Join Cathy, Lonestar, Howie and Craig as they finally discover who is responsible for their misfortune, and the misfortune of the Call Center itself, in the blood gargling conclusion to Catherine's three shot. DOWN TO BUSINESS: 9:25. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Curious about what you're in for with The Stars Aren't Alright? So are we! Have a quick listen, and then have a longer listen - described as "Absurdist Horror", fans of Aliens, Monty Python, and The Room should feel right at home. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join the crew of the Anserina - Maeve, Marmot, MawlEah, and Celery - as they pursue a contract for their mysterious benefactor, The Officer. An engineer, a hacker, a socialite pilot, and a 126 year old barber might just be the crack team this galaxy needs to save it (but probably not). In this interlude, an all new cast helps us prepare for Season 2 in the best way we know how - crude humor and cosmic horror! (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The crew of the Anserina makes their way to an allegory for late stage capitalis- I mean, Stevald IV in their search for Maeve's lost sister, Abigail. Celery uses vanity to get past the space TSA. MawlEah COEXISTS with toxic unicorn toys. Marmot enters the Matrix and wishes he hadn't. Maeve, as always, keeps us on track - her perpetual curse. Oh - there's a train in this one if that's your thing! It comes back later in the series too. Choochoo DOWN TO BUSINESS: 6:14. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised. Specific trigger warning: 1:44-1:46 contains a depiction of police violence. ) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marmot, Maeve, and MawlEah investigate Lucas Firinn's apartment. Celery keeps watch with eyes big and small. We stay on brand with more sci-fi lube content, and you know what comes back this episode? That's right, the TRAIN BABYYYYY THE TRAIN IS IN THIS ONE TOO CHOOCHOO LETS GOOOOOOOOO - DOWN TO BUSINESS: 7:45. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marmot, Maeve, MawlEah and Celery finish up Season 1.5 in style - boot wings included. Reeling from revelations, feeling the crushing weight of corporate greed, and unnerved by the promise of something even darker, our crew descends into the bowels of Gorto City. Save the sister, save the galaxy? Maybe let's just aim for survival. DOWN TO BUSINESS: 6:45. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised. TW: Depictions of police violence frequent throughout this episode) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SEASON 1 SPOILERS - IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED SEASON 1, GIVE THIS A MISS UNTIL YOU DO. In this non-canon aside, the cast drinks a bunch of egg nog and tries to recreate A Christmas Carol from memory. Our success? Limited. The plot? Unhinged. The lessons learned? Dubious. Enjoy this lil' holiday present from our messed up comedy/horror family to yours! (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tom leads us into the dark void of contract work in his second oneshot! Join Gothar, Nikki, "Dr." Dicky, and Charles as they near the end of their 10 year contract - special guests Karlyn and Jess absolutely crush it in this one, as they so often do. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rejoin Charles (Brian), Nikki (Leah), Gothar (Karlyn), and Dicky (Jess) as they try to escape the void, and the horrors therein (Tom). We conclude this particular Season 2 oneshot in style - meaning, with a bodycount. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(SEASON 2 SPOILERS ABOUND) Join Maxwell, Speedy Stev, RKQ, and Clitus as they attempt to complete a complicated heist after the events of Season 2! Catherine has created an unholy alliance of Call of Cthulhu and Blades in the Dark and we do our absolute best to be huge morons while she wrangles a cool story from our nonsense. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(SEASON 2 SPOILERS ABOUND) In the thrilling conclusion to Catherine's season 2 oneshot, we find out whether Maxwell (Caleb), Clitus (Brian), RKQ (Leah), and Spedy Stev (Alex) have what it takes to complete their objective - and get out alive. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Gate City - a massive Beam Gate Station approximately 6000 light years from Earth! (Also, learn WTF that means.) In this episode, we meet our characters - Glade, Pyotr, Juno, and Lift - as their lives are turned upside down...(This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

[Note: This episode was recorded in a much different space than our first episode - as such, there were some issues with the sound. Let us know if it needs work!] Our heroes cover up crimes not committed by them, commit some new ones, and uncover new secrets that drag them deeper into conspiracy...also we dunk on the British Empire a bunch. DOWN TO BUSINESS: 11:30. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.